Busy Being Tara

Today was my third ketamine treatment, and honestly, I did not enjoy it very much. Unlike my previous sessions, I had a hard time relaxing and settling into the experience. My mind felt restless, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t seem to get comfortable or fully immerse myself in the treatment.

I experimented with a few different things to see if I could improve the experience. I changed my position in the recliner and adjusted the angle several times, hoping to find a more comfortable spot. I also relied on music, which had been helpful during earlier treatments, but this time it didn’t seem to make much of a difference. Instead of feeling calm and connected to the experience, I felt distracted and unable to let go.

The treatment itself felt much less effective than my previous sessions. I didn’t notice the same emotional shift or sense of relief that I had experienced before. Whether that was due to my inability to relax, my mindset going into the session, or simply the natural variability of treatment, I’m not sure.

Even though today’s session felt disappointing, I’m trying to remind myself that progress isn’t always linear. Some treatments may feel more impactful than others, and one difficult day doesn’t necessarily mean the treatment isn’t working overall. For now, I’m going to continue following the treatment plan and see how things develop over the coming weeks.