Busy Being Tara

I think I’m starting to build a tolerance to the ketamine. It seems like the effects don’t last as long as they did when I first started treatment. Lately, the most noticeable part of the experience only lasts about 45 minutes on average before I begin feeling more grounded and aware of my surroundings again. It’ll be interesting to see if that continues over the next few sessions or if it’s just a temporary change.

This treatment felt different from the others. I didn’t really see anything or experience many of the sensations I’ve had in previous sessions. It felt much quieter overall, and for most of the session, I was just there. Part of me can’t help but wonder if that means the treatment isn’t working, even though I know every session can be different. I’m trying to remind myself that healing isn’t always dramatic or obvious, and that the benefits may still be happening even if I don’t feel them in the moment. Still, it’s hard not to question it when the experience feels so uneventful.