Busy Being Tara

I wanted to document my experience, not only for myself, but also for anyone who may be curious about what the process is actually like.

This is a personal account of my first treatment session and should not be taken as medical advice. Everyone’s experience is different, but here’s what mine looked like.

My Treatment Schedule

My treatment plan consists of two sessions per week for the first four weeks, followed by one session per week for the next eight weeks. There are a few requirements before each appointment, such as, I cannot eat within two hours of treatment and cannot drink anything within 30 minutes of my session. Because ketamine can affect coordination, judgment, and reaction time, I am also unable to drive after treatment and need someone to take me home. For safety reasons, I am not supposed to drive for the remainder of the day following each session.

Arriving for Treatment

When I arrived at the clinic, I was taken directly to the treatment room. Before beginning, I completed a questionnaire about my current symptoms, mood, and overall well-being.

The treatment room was comfortable and designed to help patients relax. I settled into a recliner, took off my shoes, and was covered with a weighted blanket. I had brought my own noise-canceling headphones and had already selected a ketamine playlist on Spotify to listen to during the session.

Once everything was ready, I was handed the nasal spray. I sprayed one nostril and then the other. Within minutes, I could feel the effects beginning. About five minutes later, I received the next dose. After that, the lights were turned off, and I settled in with my music.

The Experience

It’s difficult to fully describe what the experience felt like. One of the first images that came to mind was Alice in Wonderland, specifically the scene where she’s falling through the darkness. There was a sensation of floating and moving through space, detached from my normal sense of time and surroundings.

At another point, I found myself thinking about those small caterpillar fireworks that grow when they’re lit. For some reason, that image felt connected to my emotions. It was as if feelings that had been compressed or hidden away were slowly expanding outward, becoming larger and more visible.

The experience wasn’t frightening. Instead, it felt dreamlike, surreal, and deeply introspective.

Throughout the session, the staff monitored my blood pressure before, during, and after treatment. My blood pressure ran lower than usual during the session, which I joked probably meant I was extremely relaxed.

After the Session

Once the treatment was over, I went home and spent most of the day resting. I slept on and off for the remainder of the afternoon and evening.

The next day, I developed a mild headache that lingered throughout Thursday. The headache also made me feel somewhat nauseated and generally unwell. Eventually, I decided to leave work early and spend the rest of the day resting and sleeping.

Looking Ahead

Overall, my first ketamine treatment experience was positive. The process was straightforward, the clinic staff made me feel comfortable, and the experience itself was unlike anything I’ve encountered before.

It’s still far too early to know what impact the treatment will have on my depression or overall mental health, but I’m hopeful. For now, I’m taking things one session at a time and paying attention to how my mind and body respond throughout the process.

I’ll continue sharing updates as I move through treatment and will document both the positive and challenging parts of the journey. If you’ve gone through ketamine treatment yourself, I’d love to hear about your experience.