Busy Being Tara

Today was my second ketamine treatment, and my dose was increased to three nasal sprays since I experienced no side effects during my first session.

The experience felt different than Day 1. Throughout the treatment, I felt like I was in a dream-like state: relaxed, detached from the outside world, and fully immersed in the music playing through my headphones. There were no dramatic visuals or “Alice in Wonderland” moments, but I found myself simply allowing the music to flow through me and observing whatever came up.

What stood out most was a subtle shift in how I felt emotionally. It’s hard to describe, but for the first time in a while, I don’t feel depressed today. At the same time, I don’t feel numb or disconnected either. The emptiness that has been so familiar lately is still there somewhere, but it feels quieter and less noticeable. It’s not gone, but it isn’t taking up as much space.

After treatment, I spent most of the day resting and drifting in and out of sleep. I also developed a slight lingering headache, but it has been mild and easy to ignore.

It’s still very early in this process, and I know meaningful changes often take time. For now, I’m trying to stay curious, pay attention to the small shifts, and take things one treatment at a time. Even subtle changes feel worth noticing.